Waste of Cap!

I am not a fan of Jeff Foxworthy. But Tim Connolly has become the butt-end of a really bad joke. You know, the “if you force a puck through the neutral zone, take a bad penalty or attempt a pass along the boards and immediately give the puck to the opposing player, you might just be Tim Connolly!”

And is it wrong for me to say that Connolly might just be half the protozoa of Maxim Afinogenov? It’s like watching a 6 year old trying to do to much with the puck. Don’t get me wrong, the effort is there. But by no means is he a top six forward. Connolly’s days of nifty passes on the power-play or dangling around defenders might just be over.

It’s not as if Regier didn’t know Connolly was injury prone. Concussion, groin, foot, bone spur…you name it, Connolly has felt the pain. One bad move on the dance floor lands poor Timmy on the bench with a bad eye. In a way, I feel bad for the once promising athlete out of Syracuse.

But then there’s the $4.5 million side that sticks out like a soar groin. Through 23 games, Connolly has 5 goals, 8 assists and a plus minus rating of -9. Brutal isn’t the word that describes his play on the ice. In fact, I would rather listen to Tiny Tim cover Rod Stewart songs than watch Connolly play.

So I have used Tim Connolly’s “extended vacation time” and compiled a list of “better” fiscal uses for the Sabres. Tim, I am sure you are a nice guy who donates to charities and makes positive contributions off the ice to the communities of Western New York. But I think it’s time the fans and Sabres Brass move into a different direction and consider the following items and options.

$4.5 million Persian Rug

I feel as if this lucrative rug would be a great addition to the HSBC Arena! The rug could be hung from the rafters or conveniently replace the red carpet Doug Allen sings both Canadian and American National Anthems. It would replace missed opportunities with class! Or we could lay it out in the like a welcome-matt in the lobby.

Purchase Aladdin hotel for 4.5 million

A trip to Florida happens at least twice a year for the blue and gold. So why not make it a memorable trip off the ice. Winning is an added bonus. But why not purchase Hotel Aladdin.

The hotel is a little behind on taxes and could use the extra funds. Forget that it’s supposedly an “adult themed” hotel. I say it’s more of a Dave and Buster’s or one giant Chuckie Cheese place-o-rama full of arcades and a giant ball pit! The Sabres need a vacation spot and a place to stay, and it could be theirs for $4.5 million.

Fantasy Bra
I really don’t know why I added this onto the list. But I still feel it’s better than watching Connolly skate with both the power-play and penalty-kill unit!

Victoria’s Secret unveiled it’s “Fantasy Bra.” Trendhunter.com calls this an “over-the-top set [that] is decorated with $4.5 million worth of diamonds, rubies, emeralds, and yellow sapphires on a push up bra.”
Or what about the Bro? Can somebody say patent?

$4.1 Million James Bond Aston Martin DB5
Who wouln’t want a car that was driven by Sean Connery back in the day? According to IDale.co.za, the car is still equipped with an oil slick sprayer, bullet proof shield, spinning wheel slashers, homing radar and a phone
The players could take turns or even make a carpooling schedule. But with these gadgets,  nobody within the organization should have an excuse for being late to a meeting or practice. Heck, whoever has the fortune of driving a car built by Q should be able to arrive at their destination at least 10 minutes early!

Pick up Michael Vick’s first year option

Lace him up! I fully believe Michael Vick’s agility and speed accompanied with his athletic ability to escape the pocket on the grid-iron could spell trouble for even the biggest defender in Zdeno Chara. Granted the NFL is a completely different landscape than the winter wonderland style of the NHL.  I wonder if Vick knows how to skate.

The Sabres do lack star power (minus goaltender Ryan Miller). And Vick could spark the offense. Remember when Patrick Ewing was traded to the Edmonton Oiler’s in exchange for Roger Waters and Andre the Giant? Ok, so this never happened. But seriously, something has to give.

The Sabres front office either needs to trade or waive Tim Connolly. He is a waste of money. No NHL Franchise in their right mind is willing to give Connolly a chance for the price of $4.5 million (including Edmonton and the Islanders). And I still question Regier’s decision to accept and buy out Kennedy’s arbitrary awarded contract. If the Sabres were on such a tight budget, why not waive the Sheldon Souray of the east! You mean to tell me we are incapable of trading away a top six forward?!?!? Has Darcy become the Gary Bettman of the Sabres Organization by refusing to admit his mistakes?

Obviously, the list above was full of illogical concepts that would not help the team. But I will leave you with this: would you rather have an injury prone athlete who can’t seem to make the right moves on the ice, or James Bond’s Austin Martin DB5 driven by Sean Connery. The choice is yours!

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