Buffalo Sabres & NHL: Tuesday Muse Day

Tuesday Muse Day will be a ranting, raving, rambling weekly article relating to all things hockey, with a particular focus on the NHL and the Buffalo Sabres. This is the first edition. These are my personal thoughts and opinions; thus, they may not be lucid.

Derek Roy – I was informed that there was a multitude of female Buffalo Sabres fans shedding waterworks all over the facebook after the Sabres finally sent Derek Roy packing to the Dallas Stars. (sorry, people, I do not have FB) Please, I implore you to provide a valid reason, why? I have heard that he is infamous for creeping on the ladies across various social media sites – did he flatter you personally with a “heyy supp bro?” direct message?

The only argument that I have seen, that makes any semblance of sense, is that he put up decent points for the Sabres. Cool. Steven Stamkos and Evgeni Malkin put up plenty of points this season, and one of those 2 didn’t even play in the post-season this year. Points may be helpful, but they don’t always win Stanley Cups. Jonathan Quick and Tim Thomas win Stanley Cups.

Besides, Roy had some unsavory words for coach Lindy Ruff following the end of the season. Some of his comments may or may not be true, but not many people can bash their boss on public record and retain their job. Roy did not have a great on-ice attitude, probably had an even poorer attitude in the locker room, and was unnecessarily notorious for chumming and chugging on Chippewa.

Steve OttYES. Thank you, Darcy Regier. The Sabres have long lacked the grittiness (I hate the overuse of the term ‘sandpaper’ in hockey, so I will not use it) of a player like Steve Ott. He was 4th in the league in hits last season. He will chip in points, grind, and be a role player. Ott might be one of the only players in the league more pesky and pest-y than Patrick Kaleta. He will make other players accountable in the locker room, something that possibly no Sabres (besides maybe Robyn Regehr) have been doing recently. Cody Hodgson, Tyler Myers, Marcus Foligno, and Zemgus Girgensons have the potential to develop into these types of leaders, but until then, Ott will do.

This is a guy that purposely learned how to trash-talk in various foreign languages just to piss off opponents from other countries. Now THAT’S dedication to your role!

Dominik Hasek – All this talk about Marty Brodeur, and yet the greatest goalie of all-time is still unsigned?

Jiri Hudler – Who exactly is running the Calgary Flames? Someone thought Jay Bouwmeester is worth whatever ridiculous money that they are paying him? They think Jiri Hudler is worth $4 million a year? They basically traded Robyn Regehr and Zemgus Girgensons for Paul Byron and Chris Butler? Poor Jerome Igninla. The guy deserves a shot at a cup before he retires. With all the rumors about the Sabres after a winger, maybe we can send Jay Feaster a photo of Marc-Andre Gragnani in exchange for Iginla? You never know.

Zach PariseEnough already. You are not worth what you are about to make. Just hurry up and sign your silly contract with the Pittsburgh Penguins. Just think, you can go back to your high school slumber parties with Sidney Crosby! Make sure that you sign for just enough, so that the Pens will not be able to keep the greatest current player in hockey, Evgeni “Nobady Ken Pranouns My Name” Malkin. Let that open the door for the Sabres to offer Pittsburgh a nice little package with Tyler Myers in it, in exchange for Geno. Not that Myers would literally fit into a little package…

Mats Sundin – Sundin SHOULD do the right thing, and step aside and give his induction spot to the Hockey Hall of Fame to Pat Burns. The fact that Burns is STILL not in the HHOF is a sheer travesty. Sundin did not even win a Stanley Cup. Fans who were surmising that the only reason Sundin made it over other players was due to his legacy with the Toronto Maple Leafs, seem to have forgotten that Burns coached the Laffs.

Darcy Regier – What exactly does this man have up his sleeve? The Sabres now have a logjam at defense after acquiring Adam Pardy in the trade for Derek Roy. It would suggest that more moves are about to be made…but, for who? The rumor mills have the Sabres after wingers such as Bobby Ryan or Alexander Semin (who just happens to be the most underrated player in hockey, btw). Far-fetched stories from the nether-regions of dreamland have also tossed Rick Nash and Zack Parise into the rumor mill. Although Steve Ott can play center, he is better suited at his natural position of wing. Pundits could have a better grasp on their crystal balls if we knew which position Regier has Ott pegged for. Did you just giggle at the combination of grasp and balls?

Adam Pardy – Who? Sure, he has size, but can he play? According to comments that I have received from Dallas Stars fans, he isnt very good. So, why is he making $2 million, and why did Regier want him? Does he know something we don’t know? Alexander Sulzer two-point-oh? Regier, you sneaky, sneaky, S.O.B. You made Sabres fans hate you, which made it hard for us to love you, but we may not be able to fight it much longer…

Rick Nash – I saw unconfirmed reports this morning of the Sabres putting together a package for the Rick Nash sweepstakes. How? I may have missed something, but I thought Nash supplied the Columbus Blue Jackets with a shortlist of teams that he would approve a trade to. I am not under the impression that Buffalo is/was on that list.

John Scott – May or may not be related to Seann William Scott, the star of the movie “Goon.” Can he skate? No. Can he score? No. Why did the Sabres sign him? To beat the smirk off any opponents face that happens to even BREATHE the wrong way towards Ryan Miller or Thomas Vanek. Hockeyfights.com states that this guy is 25-0 in NHL fights. Neither Rob Ray nor Andrew Peters nor Kimbo Slice can say that they were undefeated. If we had this guy in 2010, maybe the Boston Bruins don’t take Vanek out of that playoff series. If we had this guy in 2011, maybe Richards doesn’t demolish Connolly, and the Sabres win that game 7.

#DarcyDoSomething/#DoSomethingDarcyGive it up already. This is no longer needed. If it isnt blatantly obvious to you at this point that the Buffalo Sabres are under new ownership, and that Regier has ACTUALLY made great moves since Terry Pegula bought the team, there is something wrong with your skull. You may actually have more concussions than Sidney Crosby, and need to be checked out. Or, maybe you are one of those half-Sabres fans that simultaneously roots for the Pens for no explicable reason.

P.S. – If you are a fan still struggling to spell Tyler Meyers, Ville Lieno, Christian Erhoff, and Jason Pomminville, go sniff some glue. You are in for a future rough patch with the first round draft picks the Sabres just made. No wonder you are praying for Bobby Ryan to become a Sabre.

P.S. IIHow in the HELL are some of you still confusing Regier and Regehr?

Topics: Adam Pardy, Buffalo Sabres, Calgary Flames, Christian Ehrhoff, Dallas Stars, Darcy Regier, Derek Roy, Dominik Hasek, Evgeni Malkin, Goon, Jason Pominville, Jiri Hudler, John Scott, Lindy Ruff, Mats Sundin, NHL, Pat Burns, Pittsburgh Penguins, Rick Nash, Robyn Regehr, Rumors, Sidney Crosby, Steve Ott, Trade, Tyler Myers, Ville Leino, Zach Parise

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