Five Ridiculous NHL Predictions Guaranteed to Come True!
The Worst Team in the NHL Will Average Over Three Goals a Game, Making This the HIghest-Scoring NHL Season EVER
September 27, 2013; Raleigh, NC, USA; Buffalo Sabres goalie
Ryan Miller(30) makes a save in front of Carolina Hurricanes left wing
Drayson Bowman(21) during the 1st period at PNC Center. Mandatory Credit: James Guillory-USA TODAY Sports
The NHL hates you, Ryan Miller.
And you, Corey Crawford.
And you, Martin Brodeur.
And you, Jonathan Quick. Oh, especially you.
Why else would the NHL go to such lengths to make your jobs less secure, if they didn’t hate your guts? I mean, they have to know that shrinking your leg pads by two full inches, which adds up to four less inches of pad with which you can cover your five-hole (that doesn’t sound good, does it?), your numbers are going to reflect poorly on you come the end of the season. In addition, more of you starting goalies are going to find yourselves being yanked more often than you are used to, as one five-hole goal allowed is forgivable, while two is not – and you’re going to be giving up two far more than you want to admit, yes siree.
Backup goaltenders, rejoice!
Seriously – if scoring doesn’t begin to resemble baseball game scores this season, then I’ll spend next season covering women’s curling.
Well there they are – my ridiculous predictions that I back 110%! I swear on my life that every single one of these bold prognostications will come true, or my name isn’t Edward R. Murrow.