The Buffalo Sabres could make this hockey fan happy with these 12 simple gifts . . . .
I’m a simple man, Buffalo Sabres fans.
Look: I learned a long time ago, from a man who was a lot wiser than I am, that professional sports are not the be-all-end-all in life.
Sure, my old man had his favorite teams that he followed, such as the Boston Celtics in the NBA and the Baltimore Colts in the NFL. He spent many an hour sitting in his recliner in front of the television, pulling for his teams, and he was opinionated as anyone – if you were interested, he would tell you what he really thought of the players, the coaches, the GM, and the sport in general.
But my father was also smart enough to know that, win or lose, none of the teams he followed really changed his life. And he was smarter than that – when his teams flat-out stunk, he either went to bed early or, more often, didn’t bother to watch. Watching professional sports was supposed to be fun, a way to relieve stress, not add to it.
For the most part, I follow my dad’s lead (God rest his soul), in that I don’t obsess over most of the teams that I follow. Screaming during Kentucky Wildcat basketball games? A thing of the past. Going to bed reliving that last-second shot that sunk the Boston Celtics? Not me! Spending days reading about Aaron Boone’s 11th-inning homerun against the Red Sox in Game 7 of the ALCS? Did it 2003, but barely watched the Red Sox this season at all.
Things are a little bit different when it comes to the Buffalo Sabres – after all, I do get paid to write for this site – so there are times when I get more invested than I would like watching the blue and gold. Still, writing about them is usually enough to purge any feelings I may have, and really, as much as I would love to see the Stanley Cup come to the 716, I follow this team because it’s fun.
Well, mostly. Truth be told, the Sabres could make my Christmas a little more merry by giving me some simply gifts . . . 12 simple gifts, to be precise. After reading local author Adam DeRose’s Dear Santa piece, I was inspired to provide my take on The 12 Days of Christmas, Sabres-style. If GM Tim Murray, coach Dan Bylsma, and the players could provide the following gifts, I could spend the remainder of the 2016-17 season content and complain free.
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Here they are.
On the first day of Christmas, the Sabres gave to me . . . a full 60-minute effort. Because these are way more harder to come across than a partridge in a pear tree.
On the second day of Christmas, the Sabres gave to me . . . two 30-goal scorers. The Sabres have not had two players top 30 goals since the 2010-11 season. Who thought it would take six years worth of rebuilding just to get back to that point?!?
On the third day of Christmas, the Sabres gave to me . . . three 50+ points players. Hey – we’re only going on five years with this one!
On the fourth day of Christmas, the Sabres gave to me . . . a four-game winning streak. Buffalo last had a four-game winning streak back in 2014-15. This team is better than that one, right?
On the fifth day of Christmas, the Sabres gave to me . . . five wins in a shootout. Just because!
On the sixth day of Christmas, the Sabres gave to me . . . a true set of top-6 forwards.
On the seventh day of Christmas, the Sabres gave to me . . . a seven-goal game. Hell, the Sabres have hit 6 twice this season – let’s kick it up another notch!
On the eighth day of Christmas, the Sabres gave to me . . . eight shutouts. The Sabres got 7 combined from Ryan Miller and Jhonas Enroth back in 2011-12; wouldn’t it be nice to return to the days when Buffalo netminders were something close to dominant?
On the ninth day of Christmas, the Sabres gave to me . . . a top-9 worth a damn! (Really an extension of day six.)
On the tenth day of Christmas, the Sabres gave to me . . . ten wins in a calendar month. This is a stretch, I know!
On the eleventh day of Christmas, the Sabres gave to me . . . eleven one-goal wins. Just for a change!
On the twelfth day of Christmas, the Sabres gave to me . . . 12 more points than last season. 93 points was good enough to make the playoffs in the East in 2015-16. All I wanted before this season started was for Buffalo to have a chance.
There you have it – twelve relatively straight-forward gifts that the Buffalo Sabres could give, not just to me, but to every fan of the blue and gold this holiday season. Nothing crazy – no Lord Stanley’s Cup, not even a playoff spot. Just a product that is fun to watch more often than not.
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